Update...and help me pick a dress for my bday!

Weight still coming down. Sometimes faster sometimes at SNAIL pace. But I'm not giving up! My bday is coming up. I have some pics of dresses...Help me pick one.

diet pilld and weight loss

Hey

Still counting cals and exercising. Question for everybody out there. Have you taken diet pills. I'm considering Xenical, orlistat, or reductil

Rolling out of bed

Hey guys,

So I literally just rolled out of bed and thought I would snap some pics. My period started yesterday so I'm a bit bloated but you can definately see the difference. 15 pounds down! Let me know what you think.

Back in the states

OK so because of the political unrest in Bangkok we are back in the states. I am taking it all in stride and making sure that I continue to count EVERYTHING. I don't have my scale so I haven't weighed myself. But I have been using my calculations to help me determine how much weight I am losing. Hopefully when I get back to Thailand I will have lost the weight that I set out to lose. I am just glad that I am being accountable and not using my being back in the states to get loose on my goals. How are you guys doing out there?

In my window seat

So Im on my way back to Thailand......This trip has been very rewarding for me. Primarily I am aware that emotional issues cause me to eat. However this time I couldn't eat when I was stressed and sad. I actually felt nauseous and could not eat myself to comfort myself. Not filling myself with food really let me deal with what I was feeling. Through this trip I've learned something about myself and relationships in general.

1. People either love you or they don't. No sense trying to convince them that you are worthy because if they love you it isn't necessary and if they dont your trying to show them won't work.

2. It is sometimes better to love the person that loves you back, even if you don't love them they same amount they love you. You definately shouldn't waste your time on the person that doesn't love you. Love yourself enough to let them go. Love them enough to allow them to love whom they were going to love anyway. Be friend enough to let them. Through the letting go you honor yourself. You set the price of your worth.

Sorry to get so much into relationships you guys but at the bottom of our overeating are trends. I am trying to see what those trends are for me and reset the trigger points. I haven't weighed myself this week but I am certain the weight has gone down. I will weigh myself after my period goes off.

I hope this day finds you loved...That's the single thing that everyone deserves and I am sure most at least hope for.

In the states.....

So I am back in the states and really liked being back home. No one stared at my hips as if they dont understand why they are so curvy (sidebar- I live in Thailand- they dont have hips there).

I am doing work and staying busy but I'm stressed and therefore am not eating. Normally when Im stressed i want to curl up in a place where I feel safe and EAT!

Not this time. The idea of eating makes me feel more sick. Honestly I ate breakfast and then did not try to eat again until 2pm. When I tried to take a bite of the apple I felt nauseous. I ended up throwing the apple in the trash. It is now 6:30 and if I didn't eat again today it wouldn't bother me at all.

So this is the place in am in for now. The good thing is that all of this non eating should really be good for my weight loss lol.

Sidebar 2- Have you ever wanted something that was just out of your reach? It would be something you definatly deserve but just on a shelf too high for you to reach(ok not a cookie...I'm being serious). Did you have the courage to just leave it on the shelf and walk away (one of the hardest things I had to do but did this week). Or shared your real self with someone (the things you cant even tell your momma or best friend) only to wish you hadnt done it? Have you ever gotten everything you thought you wanted only to just want to give it all back and start over? I am in that place lately. I pushed so hard for my job, career, and family. Outiside of my daughters I would be happy just to go back to Maryland where I was 2 years ago. I wish I could feel rage. Rage would give me energy to workout. lol. Plus who should I be pissed at? Myself! I made all the decisions that have me in this shitty place (exc my french). I'm just sad and numb. That makes me want to just go for a long walk by myself and figure out how to dig myself out of this low point. I miss my dog. She would lick my face and bark (her way of telling me everything will be ok). Do you guys ever feel like this?

Weigh in and 2 quick questions

OK so at least the scale is moving from when I went on my two week haitus. I am now down to a respectful 159.4. According to my spreadsheet last week I am on point. for next week my goal is 156.8. That means I have to get in all 6 workouts and have a daily caloric average of 1371.

After that I will be going back to the states for two weeks. I plan on doing only 3 workouts per week and have a daily caloric average of 1550. So my goal for when I come back to Bangkok is to be a slim and trim 155.4. My goal is to try to make my plan and then see if the results at the end of the week equal my output.

Has anyone else used the Harris Benedict formula or the Katch-McArdle formula for weight loss purposes?

Also I've noticed that in order to keep my weight going down I HAVE to count my calories. Like really really specifically. So for lunch for example I ordered a sandwich and fries from a deli. I literally counted out the steak fries to 10 (I think I received 18) and counted them on fitday along with the rest of the meal. Afterwards I had to throw out the other 8 fries. Now my mother NEVER let me throw away food. As an adult I would always clean my plate. Now I find that I have to throw out the extras because 1) I don't want to count the calories and 2) if I don't throw it away I will end up eating it later.

Do you guys throw out food now and if so does it make you feel guilty?