My conversation with fatty

Hey you,

It's me. Yeah we've been together for like 11 years now. You snuck up on me. Attached yourself to me. Said we were in a committed relationship (although I told you I wasn't interested). You seduced me with chocolate, and chinese food and then redisguised yourself in healthy food like peanuts and low fat potato chips. You know exactly how to get what you want.

But I've had enough of you. Other members of your entourage tried to get at my mom, my sister, my cousins, my friends. One by one they are realizing your kind are just no good for us. We deserve better.

In fact there is something you should know. I kissed a healthy lifestyle....AND I LIKED IT!

No offense to you or anything. I mean it's me. Really. I'm sure somebody will want you. Therefore you can take your stuff (i.e. the fat on my hips/thighs, family history of hypertension, diabetes, etc) and GO!

Don't worry about me calling you wishing for our long lost days together. I'm sure I won't want you back.

Love you no more,

Mandy